Iliad (Revised)Wisdom, observation, and appreciation are interdependent. “To acquire wisdom, one must observe” (Marilyn Vos Savant) and appreciate, just as those who observe and appreciate have great wisdom. This principle is one that is demonstrated time and time again in the Iliad such as by Priam when speaking to Helen. Priam is considered to “Live[] and breathe[] wisdom” (Homer 3. 155), and he shows his great wisdom through his keen eye and respect for all forms of beauty and might, not just the beauty and might he is thankful for. During the heat of battle, as Priam and Helen together observe the chaos side by side, Priam spots, and asks Helen about, a single Greek soldier of thousands: Agamemnon. He keenly observes Agamemnon's “handsome” (Homer 3. 174) qualities, as well as his “well-built” (Homer 3. 175) strength from afar. Though he does more than merely point out these qualities, he expresses his respect, his envy, and his appreciation for them as he becomes “lost in reverie and wonder” (Homer 3. 192) by witnessing Agamemnon’s “fine figure of a man” (Homer 3. 177). Rather than becoming lost in fear and terror of Agamemnon’s might, and the threat he posed to Troy, Priam, Trojan himself, stops to become lost in the beauty and might of the Greek hero, despite the man’s hostile threat.
Achilles also demonstrates the power of observation and its connection to wisdom though in a slightly different way. In book 1, Agamemnon disrespects Achilles's pride, an act that is considered sacrilegious in Greek society. Because of this, Achilles “swell[s] with rage” (Homer 9. 669) against Agamemnon and decides to show this by refusing to fight for Agamemnon’s Greek army against Troy. He stays off the front lines for many days, blinded by his pride and anger. Though Achilles finally opens his eyes when his dearest friend, almost family, Patroclus, dies in battle for the sake of Achilles, whom had sent him out in the first place. Achilles becomes “enveloped [by] grief” (Homer 18. 23) and also shame. He finally observes all the damage his prideful absence has caused at the expense of his Greek kinman, and “conquer[s] our [his] pride, because we [he] must” (Homer 19. 78). With the wisdom of observation, Achilles finally realizes how his pride had turned to stubbornness and had cost the lives of a great many Greeks. Observation opened his eyes and gave him wisdom. McKay,You must clearly provide evidence before using a quotation from the epic. You say the principle (wisdom?) is demonstrated time and again, but you have the quote itself tell how it's demonstrated in the Iliad. That's not the quote's job--that's your job. Provide specific evidence before ever using a quotation.I do like your contrast between two different ways of "seeing" in your two paragraphs. Priam appreciating the beauty of others and Achilles appreciating the beauty of self-awareness. Personal (Revised)Whoosh! The skydiver screams downward, the air seamlessly races by her, almost as if it were not there. Her velocity is terrifyingly high. Clouds are only blurs of white passing by, the birds mere obstacles, the cars tiny, insignificant dots. Only the fastest falcon could understand the feeling. The ground looming below becomes completely irrelevant. She is in the moment, and she loves it. Nothing matters but the overwhelming thrill of speed. Then suddenly, snap! The parachute leaps off her back. It rapidly swells to full size, instantly snagging the now vital air. Her harness tightens; the strings stretch; the parachute is using all its might to stop her descent. After a few exhilarating seconds, the parachute releases a sigh of relief as the strings contract once more, and the harness returns to its original position. Suddenly the drop is not so thrilling; the now slow, cool air leaves goosebumps scattered across the diver’s skin. As exhilarating as the jump had been, she can't help but become saddened by its end. Though she soon overcomes her disappointing lack of excitement as she looks out to the horizon. The sunset is beautiful, a magnificent blend of pink, orange, and yellow, all in perfect balance across the sky. She cannot think of anything more beautiful other than heaven itself as she slowly enjoys her relaxed drift towards the ground. The refreshing wind starts to pick up, and her harness, bringing her along, begins a rhythmic slow dance beneath the parachute with the breeze. Back and forth, back and forth, her swings with the wind exaggerate the stop-and-stare vibrancy of the sunset. Then finally, her toes brush the blades of grass, and her feet softly touch down in the landing field. Grinning as wide as the trees are tall, she takes a deep breath and proclaims to herself “Wow, that was truly awesome”, though not in reference to the exhilaration.
This skydiver exhibits one of the most important qualities of a true adventurer. She loves the thrill; that’s why she jumps, for the exhilarating, yet somehow terrifyingly satisfying, threat of death. That moment of consciously overcoming a fear, such as smacking into the ground, is what she lives for. All of this only exaggerated by the speed. Speed is the essence of her entire fall. Without speed, her jump would be nothing but a sightseeing tour, there would be no thrill beyond that of the birds’ rapid wing movements as they fly circles around her. Although she is not unique in this aspect; all adventurers have this quality; it comes naturally. What separates this true adventurer from all the rest is her appreciation of the slowness. She holds that moment after the parachute’s opening in the highest regard. She realizes that not all adventures are fast paced, or even thrilling. She understands that true beauty, the foundation of adventure, is what you allow yourself take in, not how fast you travel. She understands that without her parachute, her adventure would not be complete. (For more reasons than one…). She understands that life, the greatest adventure of all, is all about the power of slowing down to observe and, most importantly, appreciate.
As someone who believes in observing and appreciating beauty, I love to be like our skydiver. While I am not yet courageous enough to (suicidally) leap out of a plane, I do take extensive cycling journeys all across the city each weekend, taking in all of the beauty most people pass without a second thought. Pedaling through the forest, I frequently stop to watch families of vibrant green deer munch on their tall blades of grass. The mighty buck with magnificent antlers stands guard, never taking an eye off me as I observe his elegant doe and fawn. Allthewhile, the naive fawn challenges herself to a game of “sprint after the leader” with her tolerant mother, and the fascinated human stands to the side smiling childishly in awe and observing.
While I always try to practice the power of observation, another time observation is a special focus is when I am walking down the congested hallways of McIntosh High School. I create an internal challenge for myself of noticing each and every person who most people pass by without a second thought. Though sometimes, I will stop to choose an individual face at random, then create an epic or dramatic story about the stranger. That tall, intimidating boy wearing the red number 3 football jersey has just defeated his arch nemesis on the roof in a neck and neck sword fight. The blond woman in the teal dress, walking decisively down the hallway, is on her way to claim the nobel peace prize for her humanitarian work in Africa, and the brown haired man in the blue shirt, black jacket, and black shorts has just climbed out of his tunnel through the core of earth after a 42 minute journey from Shanghai.
Both of these situations are excellent examples of when observation controls my thoughts, but both also pale in comparison to my past. Back in elementary school, despite being naive to nearly everything, I still managed to notice nearly everything. I noticed every project on the white school walls, every squirrel and chipmunk darting wildly around the green forest, every golf ball brown with rot resting at the bottom of crystal clear streams, every jetliner streaking across the sky with a puffy white contrail, and I absolutely never missed the big blue CSX train blow past my car next to highway 54. I noticed everything, and even though I no longer notice nearly as much, I now have the ability to appreciate what I am stopping to observe. No longer do I merely see the train cars. I see all the ecstatic children when their toys arrive, all the brilliant people behind one of the most efficient systems on earth, and all the hard work and labor put into building, operating, and sustaining the mighty rail system. As a wise man once said, “Always remember to slow down in life; live, breathe, and learn; take a look around you whenever you have time and never forget everything and every person that has the least place within your heart” (Unknown), because the world is a place full of awesome, apretiation-worthy sights; people just must be willing to stop and see them. One Iliad character, Priam, demonstrates a the power of stopping to observe and appreciate beautifully. During the chaos of the fast paced battle around Troy, Priam is able to stop and embrace some of the beauty that all of the others overlook. When most Trojans look into the greek heroes, such as Agamemnon, Ajax, and Odysseus, they see danger, a threat. Priam, on the other hand, sees beauty, and when he sets gaze upon Agamemnon, commander of the greeks, “The old man became lost in reverie and wonder” (Homer 3. 192). Rather than becoming lost in fear of almighty Agamemnon, he became lost in envy, appreciation, almost reverence, for the beauty and might of the Greek hero. He stops to appreciate the beauty in even his enemies.I loved the part of the essay that focused on you and your powers of observation. I didn't like the extended metaphor with the sky diver. It made me impatient and just want to get to the essay about you. Iliad (Before Revisions) In the Iliad, Helen discovers that true love, that true adventure, does not require great journey or sacrifice; she discovers that true adventure is at home. When Paris arrives at Greece for Helen, she leaves almost willingly, lured by the prospect of a greater love, a greater adventure. Though after living in Troy for many months, when Menelaus and the Greek army arrive to rescue her, she finally realizes this lamenting the loss of “That lovely time in my [Helen’s] life” (Homer 3. 185). At last she realizes her true love, her true adventure, had lied with home all along, and that her adventure with Paris had been but an Illusion. McKay, Develop your Iliad paragraph and don't just have the bare bones four sentences. In your evidence, before you ever get to the quotation, provide evidence of Helen's sense of adventure. Also, make sure your quotation is spot on. You jump to conclusions about Helen, but don't provide actual evidence in the story. "That lovely time" does not necessarily equate to thinking that her home is an adventure. You don't prove that "lovely time" equals adventure--that's leaping. Personal (Before Revisions) Whoosh! The skydiver screams downward, the air seamlessly races by her, almost as if it were not there. Her velocity is terrifyingly high. Clouds are only blurs of white passing by. Only the fastest bird could understand the feeling. The ground looming below becomes completely irrelevant. She is in the moment, and she loves it. Nothing matters but the overwhelming thrill. Then suddenly, snap! The parachute leaps off her back. It rapidly swells to full size, instantly snagging the now vital air. Her harness tightens; the strings stretch; the parachute is using all its might to stop her descent. After a few exhilarating seconds, the parachute releases a sigh of relief as the strings contract once more, and the harness returns to its original position. Suddenly the drop is not so thrilling; the now slow, cool air leaves goosebumps scattered across the diver’s skin. As exhilarating as the jump had been, she can't help but become saddened by its end. Though she soon overcomes her disappointing lack of excitement as she looks out to the horizon. The sunset is beautiful, a magnificent blend of pink, orange, and yellow, all in perfect balance across the sky. She cannot think of anything more beautiful other than heaven itself as she slowly enjoys her relaxed drift towards the ground. “This is what it’s all about”, she decides.
This skydiver exhibits all the qualities of a true adventurer. She loves the thrill; that’s why she jumps, for the exhilarating, yet somehow terrifyingly satisfying, threat of death. That moment of consciously overcoming a fear, such as smacking into the ground, is what she lives for. All of this only exaggerated by the speed. Speed is the essence of her entire falling adventure. Without speed, her jump would be nothing but a sightseeing tour, there would be no thrill beyond that of the birds’ rapid wing movements as they fly circles around her. Although she is not unique in this aspect; all adventurers have this quality; it comes naturally. What separates this true adventurer from all the rest is her appreciation of the slowness. She holds that moment after the parachute’s opening in the highest regard. She understands that not all adventures are fast paced, or even thrilling. She understands that true beauty, the foundation of adventure, is what you allow yourself take in, not how fast you travel. She understands that without her parachute, her adventure would not be complete. (For more reasons than one…)
As a self proclaimed adventurer, I love to be like our skydiver. While I am not yet courageous enough to leap out of a plane, I do take extensive cycling journeys all across the city each weekend, taking in all of the beauty most people pass without a second thought. Pedaling through the forest, I frequently stop to watch families of vibrant green deer munch on their tall blades of grass. The mighty buck with magnificent antlers stands guard, never taking an eye off me as I observe his elegant doe and fawn. Allthewhile, the naive fawn challenges herself to a game of “sprint after the leader” with her tolerant mother, and the fascinated human stands to the side smiling and observing. These are my adventures. Some days they are peaceful, filled with deer, and other days they are exhilarating full of speeding down hills with my rear wheel screeching as it slides around turns. Though the best adventures of all are the ones with both these aspects. The perfect balance of exhilaration and beauty together is unbeatable; I live for these moments.
No Iliad characters can demonstrate true adventure to the level as our skydiver, but one character, Priam, does demonstrate a key part of true adventure. During the chaos of the fast paced battle around Troy, Priam is able to stop and embrace some of the beauty that all of the others overlook. When most Trojans look into the Greek heroes, such as Agamemnon, Ajax, and Odysseus, they see danger, a threat. Priam, on the other hand, sees beauty, and when he sets gaze upon Agamemnon, commander of the Greeks, “The old man became lost in reverie and wonder” (Homer 3. 192). Rather than becoming lost in fear of almighty Agamemnon, he became lost in envy, respect, almost reverence, for the beauty and might of the Greek hero. McKay, I see your Iliad example more as an example of the powers of observation--taking the time to notice and appreciate beauty, even beauty of the enemy-- than adventure. Your personal example also is more about your ability to keenly observe beauty that others quickly pass while on their rushed golf cart errands. Would it be possible to keep your personal example and how it connects to the Iliad, but change your claim to the powers of standing still? Of taking time to observe surroundings? I've noticed in class that you're aware of everything--what we read, current events, trends, etc. Noticing/appreciating self and surroundings is a powerful value. One other suggestion--I see you spending more time on a hypothetical sky diver than on McKay Moore. You are an interesting person and deserve most of your essay. I don't care about the non-existent sky diver. I care about you and things that have happened to you in your life.
Iliad (Revised)Wisdom, observation, and appreciation are interdependent. “To acquire wisdom, one must observe” (Marilyn Vos Savant) and appreciate, just as those who observe and appreciate have great wisdom. This principle is one that is demonstrated time and time again in the Iliad such as by Priam when speaking to Helen. Priam is considered to “Live[] and breathe[] wisdom” (Homer 3. 155), and he shows his great wisdom through his keen eye and respect for all forms of beauty and might, not just the beauty and might he is thankful for. During the heat of battle, as Priam and Helen together observe the chaos side by side, Priam spots, and asks Helen about, a single Greek soldier of thousands: Agamemnon. He keenly observes Agamemnon's “handsome” (Homer 3. 174) qualities, as well as his “well-built” (Homer 3. 175) strength from afar. Though he does more than merely point out these qualities, he expresses his respect, his envy, and his appreciation for them as he becomes “lost in reverie and wonder” (Homer 3. 192) by witnessing Agamemnon’s “fine figure of a man” (Homer 3. 177). Rather than becoming lost in fear and terror of Agamemnon’s might, and the threat he posed to Troy, Priam, Trojan himself, stops to become lost in the beauty and might of the Greek hero, despite the man’s hostile threat.
Achilles also demonstrates the power of observation and its connection to wisdom though in a slightly different way. In book 1, Agamemnon disrespects Achilles's pride, an act that is considered sacrilegious in Greek society. Because of this, Achilles “swell[s] with rage” (Homer 9. 669) against Agamemnon and decides to show this by refusing to fight for Agamemnon’s Greek army against Troy. He stays off the front lines for many days, blinded by his pride and anger. Though Achilles finally opens his eyes when his dearest friend, almost family, Patroclus, dies in battle for the sake of Achilles, whom had sent him out in the first place. Achilles becomes “enveloped [by] grief” (Homer 18. 23) and also shame. He finally observes all the damage his prideful absence has caused at the expense of his Greek kinman, and “conquer[s] our [his] pride, because we [he] must” (Homer 19. 78). With the wisdom of observation, Achilles finally realizes how his pride had turned to stubbornness and had cost the lives of a great many Greeks. Observation opened his eyes and gave him wisdom.
McKay,You must clearly provide evidence before using a quotation from the epic. You say the principle (wisdom?) is demonstrated time and again, but you have the quote itself tell how it's demonstrated in the Iliad. That's not the quote's job--that's your job. Provide specific evidence before ever using a quotation.I do like your contrast between two different ways of "seeing" in your two paragraphs. Priam appreciating the beauty of others and Achilles appreciating the beauty of self-awareness.
Personal (Revised)Whoosh! The skydiver screams downward, the air seamlessly races by her, almost as if it were not there. Her velocity is terrifyingly high. Clouds are only blurs of white passing by, the birds mere obstacles, the cars tiny, insignificant dots. Only the fastest falcon could understand the feeling. The ground looming below becomes completely irrelevant. She is in the moment, and she loves it. Nothing matters but the overwhelming thrill of speed. Then suddenly, snap! The parachute leaps off her back. It rapidly swells to full size, instantly snagging the now vital air. Her harness tightens; the strings stretch; the parachute is using all its might to stop her descent. After a few exhilarating seconds, the parachute releases a sigh of relief as the strings contract once more, and the harness returns to its original position. Suddenly the drop is not so thrilling; the now slow, cool air leaves goosebumps scattered across the diver’s skin. As exhilarating as the jump had been, she can't help but become saddened by its end. Though she soon overcomes her disappointing lack of excitement as she looks out to the horizon. The sunset is beautiful, a magnificent blend of pink, orange, and yellow, all in perfect balance across the sky. She cannot think of anything more beautiful other than heaven itself as she slowly enjoys her relaxed drift towards the ground. The refreshing wind starts to pick up, and her harness, bringing her along, begins a rhythmic slow dance beneath the parachute with the breeze. Back and forth, back and forth, her swings with the wind exaggerate the stop-and-stare vibrancy of the sunset. Then finally, her toes brush the blades of grass, and her feet softly touch down in the landing field. Grinning as wide as the trees are tall, she takes a deep breath and proclaims to herself “Wow, that was truly awesome”, though not in reference to the exhilaration.
This skydiver exhibits one of the most important qualities of a true adventurer. She loves the thrill; that’s why she jumps, for the exhilarating, yet somehow terrifyingly satisfying, threat of death. That moment of consciously overcoming a fear, such as smacking into the ground, is what she lives for. All of this only exaggerated by the speed. Speed is the essence of her entire fall. Without speed, her jump would be nothing but a sightseeing tour, there would be no thrill beyond that of the birds’ rapid wing movements as they fly circles around her. Although she is not unique in this aspect; all adventurers have this quality; it comes naturally. What separates this true adventurer from all the rest is her appreciation of the slowness. She holds that moment after the parachute’s opening in the highest regard. She realizes that not all adventures are fast paced, or even thrilling. She understands that true beauty, the foundation of adventure, is what you allow yourself take in, not how fast you travel. She understands that without her parachute, her adventure would not be complete. (For more reasons than one…). She understands that life, the greatest adventure of all, is all about the power of slowing down to observe and, most importantly, appreciate.
As someone who believes in observing and appreciating beauty, I love to be like our skydiver. While I am not yet courageous enough to (suicidally) leap out of a plane, I do take extensive cycling journeys all across the city each weekend, taking in all of the beauty most people pass without a second thought. Pedaling through the forest, I frequently stop to watch families of vibrant green deer munch on their tall blades of grass. The mighty buck with magnificent antlers stands guard, never taking an eye off me as I observe his elegant doe and fawn. Allthewhile, the naive fawn challenges herself to a game of “sprint after the leader” with her tolerant mother, and the fascinated human stands to the side smiling childishly in awe and observing.
While I always try to practice the power of observation, another time observation is a special focus is when I am walking down the congested hallways of McIntosh High School. I create an internal challenge for myself of noticing each and every person who most people pass by without a second thought. Though sometimes, I will stop to choose an individual face at random, then create an epic or dramatic story about the stranger. That tall, intimidating boy wearing the red number 3 football jersey has just defeated his arch nemesis on the roof in a neck and neck sword fight. The blond woman in the teal dress, walking decisively down the hallway, is on her way to claim the nobel peace prize for her humanitarian work in Africa, and the brown haired man in the blue shirt, black jacket, and black shorts has just climbed out of his tunnel through the core of earth after a 42 minute journey from Shanghai.
Both of these situations are excellent examples of when observation controls my thoughts, but both also pale in comparison to my past. Back in elementary school, despite being naive to nearly everything, I still managed to notice nearly everything. I noticed every project on the white school walls, every squirrel and chipmunk darting wildly around the green forest, every golf ball brown with rot resting at the bottom of crystal clear streams, every jetliner streaking across the sky with a puffy white contrail, and I absolutely never missed the big blue CSX train blow past my car next to highway 54. I noticed everything, and even though I no longer notice nearly as much, I now have the ability to appreciate what I am stopping to observe. No longer do I merely see the train cars. I see all the ecstatic children when their toys arrive, all the brilliant people behind one of the most efficient systems on earth, and all the hard work and labor put into building, operating, and sustaining the mighty rail system. As a wise man once said, “Always remember to slow down in life; live, breathe, and learn; take a look around you whenever you have time and never forget everything and every person that has the least place within your heart” (Unknown), because the world is a place full of awesome, apretiation-worthy sights; people just must be willing to stop and see them.
One Iliad character, Priam, demonstrates a the power of stopping to observe and appreciate beautifully. During the chaos of the fast paced battle around Troy, Priam is able to stop and embrace some of the beauty that all of the others overlook. When most Trojans look into the greek heroes, such as Agamemnon, Ajax, and Odysseus, they see danger, a threat. Priam, on the other hand, sees beauty, and when he sets gaze upon Agamemnon, commander of the greeks, “The old man became lost in reverie and wonder” (Homer 3. 192). Rather than becoming lost in fear of almighty Agamemnon, he became lost in envy, appreciation, almost reverence, for the beauty and might of the Greek hero. He stops to appreciate the beauty in even his enemies.I loved the part of the essay that focused on you and your powers of observation. I didn't like the extended metaphor with the sky diver. It made me impatient and just want to get to the essay about you.
Iliad (Before Revisions) In the Iliad, Helen discovers that true love, that true adventure, does not require great journey or sacrifice; she discovers that true adventure is at home. When Paris arrives at Greece for Helen, she leaves almost willingly, lured by the prospect of a greater love, a greater adventure. Though after living in Troy for many months, when Menelaus and the Greek army arrive to rescue her, she finally realizes this lamenting the loss of “That lovely time in my [Helen’s] life” (Homer 3. 185). At last she realizes her true love, her true adventure, had lied with home all along, and that her adventure with Paris had been but an Illusion.
McKay, Develop your Iliad paragraph and don't just have the bare bones four sentences. In your evidence, before you ever get to the quotation, provide evidence of Helen's sense of adventure. Also, make sure your quotation is spot on. You jump to conclusions about Helen, but don't provide actual evidence in the story. "That lovely time" does not necessarily equate to thinking that her home is an adventure. You don't prove that "lovely time" equals adventure--that's leaping.
Personal (Before Revisions)
Whoosh! The skydiver screams downward, the air seamlessly races by her, almost as if it were not there. Her velocity is terrifyingly high. Clouds are only blurs of white passing by. Only the fastest bird could understand the feeling. The ground looming below becomes completely irrelevant. She is in the moment, and she loves it. Nothing matters but the overwhelming thrill. Then suddenly, snap! The parachute leaps off her back. It rapidly swells to full size, instantly snagging the now vital air. Her harness tightens; the strings stretch; the parachute is using all its might to stop her descent. After a few exhilarating seconds, the parachute releases a sigh of relief as the strings contract once more, and the harness returns to its original position. Suddenly the drop is not so thrilling; the now slow, cool air leaves goosebumps scattered across the diver’s skin. As exhilarating as the jump had been, she can't help but become saddened by its end. Though she soon overcomes her disappointing lack of excitement as she looks out to the horizon. The sunset is beautiful, a magnificent blend of pink, orange, and yellow, all in perfect balance across the sky. She cannot think of anything more beautiful other than heaven itself as she slowly enjoys her relaxed drift towards the ground. “This is what it’s all about”, she decides.
This skydiver exhibits all the qualities of a true adventurer. She loves the thrill; that’s why she jumps, for the exhilarating, yet somehow terrifyingly satisfying, threat of death. That moment of consciously overcoming a fear, such as smacking into the ground, is what she lives for. All of this only exaggerated by the speed. Speed is the essence of her entire falling adventure. Without speed, her jump would be nothing but a sightseeing tour, there would be no thrill beyond that of the birds’ rapid wing movements as they fly circles around her. Although she is not unique in this aspect; all adventurers have this quality; it comes naturally. What separates this true adventurer from all the rest is her appreciation of the slowness. She holds that moment after the parachute’s opening in the highest regard. She understands that not all adventures are fast paced, or even thrilling. She understands that true beauty, the foundation of adventure, is what you allow yourself take in, not how fast you travel. She understands that without her parachute, her adventure would not be complete. (For more reasons than one…)
As a self proclaimed adventurer, I love to be like our skydiver. While I am not yet courageous enough to leap out of a plane, I do take extensive cycling journeys all across the city each weekend, taking in all of the beauty most people pass without a second thought. Pedaling through the forest, I frequently stop to watch families of vibrant green deer munch on their tall blades of grass. The mighty buck with magnificent antlers stands guard, never taking an eye off me as I observe his elegant doe and fawn. Allthewhile, the naive fawn challenges herself to a game of “sprint after the leader” with her tolerant mother, and the fascinated human stands to the side smiling and observing. These are my adventures. Some days they are peaceful, filled with deer, and other days they are exhilarating full of speeding down hills with my rear wheel screeching as it slides around turns. Though the best adventures of all are the ones with both these aspects. The perfect balance of exhilaration and beauty together is unbeatable; I live for these moments.
No Iliad characters can demonstrate true adventure to the level as our skydiver, but one character, Priam, does demonstrate a key part of true adventure. During the chaos of the fast paced battle around Troy, Priam is able to stop and embrace some of the beauty that all of the others overlook. When most Trojans look into the Greek heroes, such as Agamemnon, Ajax, and Odysseus, they see danger, a threat. Priam, on the other hand, sees beauty, and when he sets gaze upon Agamemnon, commander of the Greeks, “The old man became lost in reverie and wonder” (Homer 3. 192). Rather than becoming lost in fear of almighty Agamemnon, he became lost in envy, respect, almost reverence, for the beauty and might of the Greek hero.
McKay, I see your Iliad example more as an example of the powers of observation--taking the time to notice and appreciate beauty, even beauty of the enemy-- than adventure. Your personal example also is more about your ability to keenly observe beauty that others quickly pass while on their rushed golf cart errands. Would it be possible to keep your personal example and how it connects to the Iliad, but change your claim to the powers of standing still? Of taking time to observe surroundings? I've noticed in class that you're aware of everything--what we read, current events, trends, etc. Noticing/appreciating self and surroundings is a powerful value.
One other suggestion--I see you spending more time on a hypothetical sky diver than on McKay Moore. You are an interesting person and deserve most of your essay. I don't care about the non-existent sky diver. I care about you and things that have happened to you in your life.